Working the Crowd

I still can't stomach the whole networking thing. I was recently at a conference where I saw a guy who graduated from my school a few years ahead of me. I'd read something about him in the alumni magazine. He had an amazing job in my field, and I wanted to go talk to him more than anything. In the end, though, I was too self-conscious. Why on earth would this guy want to help me, and what right did I have to ask him anyway? I didn't want to feel like a slimy car salesman, so I left. I knew I probably blew a great opportunity, but I just couldn't make myself do it.

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Manuel, 25, Colorado

A popular misconception among twenty-somethings is that networking is about getting a job. In reality, it's much more than that. Michael Alexander of FindAMentor (www.findamentor.org) defines networking as “working a net to catch information.” It's about establishing relationships that provide you with valuable feedback and allow you to make educated decisions. You do it every day without even realizing it. Let's look at an example: Suppose within days of your move to a new town, your car breaks down. How would you handle this situation? Would you open the yellow pages and take your car to the first mechanic you see, or would you ask your colleagues for a recommendation? The second option is an example of networking. Think about why many successful businesses don't need to advertise. They obtain new clients by word of mouth—otherwise known as networking!

The purpose of business networking is to gain information, increase your visibility in your field, and establish personal connections that will help you move forward in your career. Even if you're happy with your job, you should always be looking ahead to the next one. How do you use networking as a tool to prepare for your career's future? There are a few steps involved in this process:

1. Expand your business networks before you actually need to. Judith Gerberg, career counselor and director of Gerberg & Co. in New York City, recommends looking beyond your company for business contacts so that your networking will have lifelong continuity, regardless of the specific jobs you hold. She suggests joining professional organizations that you have a genuine interest in and attending at least one activity a month. At the same time, you should habitually ask people in your circle if they know anyone who might be a good contact for you. At its core, networking should be fun. If you seek out people who care about the same things you do, you'll enjoy networking and won't view it as a chore.
2. Know what you want from your contacts and what you can offer them. Many people dislike networking because they think that asking a stranger for help is an imposition. Remember that it's human nature to want to help someone, and I think you'll find that most people will be receptive, provided you approach them the right way. If you know you're going to be meeting potential contacts, don't just drop a pile of business cards in your briefcase and call it a day. Prepare for networking conversations in advance by considering what you need from the contact. Will a phone conversation do, or would you like to meet your contact for coffee or a meal? Additionally, Rachel Solar-Tuttle, coauthor of Table Talk, says that because networking is collaboration, every time you ask for something or meet with a potential contact, you should think about how you can help him in return. Listen to your contacts carefully so that you can glean insights about how you might assist them. Remember that networking is like karma—what goes around comes around.
3. Contact the person. When approaching a potential contact, be friendly, respectful, and brief. In Chapter 1, we talked about how e-mail usually achieves better results than a phone call, but if you are attending a networking event, an in-person conversation is often the best option of all. No matter how you make contact, always keep in mind that the person is doing you a favor. If he's in the middle of something, don't interrupt, and be conscious of his time commitments. When you sit down with your contact one-on-one, offer to pay any expenses associated with the meeting, and remember to send him a thank-you note afterward. Another important point – don't be a stalker. Practice what I call the 3/6 rule – contact the person three times over a period of six weeks, and if you don't hear back, move on to someone else who will be more open to helping you.
4. Follow up with your contact regularly. After a successful first networking meeting, it's your responsibility to keep the lines of communication open. Did your contact give you any advice or suggest a course of action? If so, touch base every so often to remind him who you are and to keep him apprised of your progress. Be aware of his career moves, and make sure he stays informed of yours. Invite him to get together again, and, during the holiday season, send him a card with a nice note.

Even the most natural networking interactions can be challenging if you're shy. You might not like asking people for anything, whether it's advice about a particular industry or a piece of gum. I overcome my anxiety by talking to potential contacts about the aspects of my career I feel most strongly about. Should a networking opportunity present itself during an impromptu conversation, I make a conscious effort to be myself and stick to subjects I know well. When making a networking call, I jot down a few notes so that I won't forget what I want to say. I schedule time for these in the morning when my energy level is high. I also make it a point to stand up during each call, because I tend to sound more professional when I do so. After several years of practice, I'm still nervous talking to people I don't know. However, every time I do it and experience a positive outcome, I gain a little more confidence. I promise that you will too!