Moving Up in the World

If you've chosen a career in business, you will inevitably experience some type of setback. You'll be moving along—making great progress, and growing by leaps and bounds every day—and then, suddenly, you'll be dealt a blow. And whether your pet project is canceled, your performance review is a bust, you get turned down for a promotion, or you're asked to leave the company, setbacks hurt big time. You're de-motivated, disillusioned, and pissed as hell. You might not feel like doing anything for a few days except watching E!, munching on Doritos, and wallowing in self-pity. This response is both normal and appropriate, provided it's short-lived. In his book Emotional Intelligence at Work, Hendrie Weisinger tells us that resiliency, or the ability to bounce back, is what differentiates people who deal with setbacks effectively from those who don't. Everyone goes through career setbacks, but some people handle them in creative, positive, and rewarding ways, while others sulk, become bitter, and give up on their big-picture goals. As you can imagine, the former individuals are happier overall, and they have more successful careers too.

When you're lying on the ground and your job is stomping all over you, it can be pretty hard to pick yourself up and get moving again. Nevertheless, if you start thinking of yourself as a victim or allow yourself to lapse into prolonged negativity, you won't be hurting anyone except yourself. Worrying until you get sick, abusing alcohol or drugs, or denying that you've reached an impasse won't help either. The best strategy for making a comeback is to recognize the reality of the situation, acknowledge your feelings, and find a way to cope productively. Here are some tips that have gotten me through my darkest career days:

1. Remind yourself that, in a month, this will be a memory. When setbacks happen, the tendency is to feel as though your bad luck will last forever. By keeping in mind that the situation is temporary, you'll be strong enough emotionally to take the necessary steps to overcome your misfortune.
2. Recognize that a setback does not make you a total failure. Treat your setback as the isolated incident that it is. Regardless of what happened, chances are it's not going to significantly affect your life one way or the other. And I don't know any successful people who've learned the right way to do things without trying several wrong ways first.
3. Care for your self-esteem. Your identity and self-worth are too precious to leave in the hands of the volatile corporate world. Your job does not define who you are. You existed before it, and you will exist after it. In the meantime, rather than focusing on your own inadequacies, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can under the current circumstances.
4. Reach out to your support systems. During a crisis, it always helps to know you are not alone and that you are justified in feeling the way you do. Instead of withdrawing from the people you care about, make an effort to connect with them and lean on them for support. Your network of friends and family is most critical, but you can receive comfort and insight from spiritual support systems and prayer as well.
5. Look for humor in the situation. Having a good laugh can counteract the effects of stress and restore your sense of perspective and your ability to think clearly. It's been proven that when one is happy, the body recovers more quickly from the biological arousal of upsetting emotions. Use whatever humor floats your boat—corny, silly, dry, satirical—as long as it makes you crack a smile.
6. Be good to your body. As I've talked about, regular exercise and relaxation techniques (such as stretching, meditating, or yoga) are great ways to reduce negativity and get back on track. Eating reasonable portions of healthy foods can also increase your overall well-being while you are recovering from your setback.
7. Commit yourself to a new project. New goals and projects provide fresh perspective and a sorely needed dose of enthusiasm. You'll be motivated to work harder, and will probably be too busy to think much about your setback.

Experiencing a setback doesn't have to be a bad thing. Gail Sheehy, author of Pathfinders, who spent years studying what makes happy people tick, offers this gem of optimism: The earlier that we fail at something and our egos crack, the sooner we see that we won't die from it. We realize that our identities will build, show blemishes, suffer injuries, and repair themselves…again and again. Therefore, the best thing that can happen to most people is to fail a little, early in life. As we age and collect more years of experience working in business, the things that seem like mountains now will become smaller and smaller until they barely register as blips on the radar screen. Fortunately, this means our setbacks won't always be so traumatizing.

The Dreaded Re-org

We have a new CEO, and our entire organization is being overturned as we speak. The worst part is that he's talking about moving corporate headquarters to another state! I don't know what I'm going to be doing or where I'm going to be doing it, and the waiting is killing me. I haven't slept through the night since I found out about this, and I always feel like I'm on the verge of getting sick. I've lived in Colorado all my life, and everything I've ever known is here. I don't know what I'll do if I have to move.

Blair, 26, Colorado

The corporate world wouldn't be the fun place it is without the tribal ritual known as the reorganization (aka re-org). A corporate re-org usually follows when new management takes over or existing management decides to change the way the company does business. What does it potentially mean to you? Oh nothing much—except a new job, a new boss, new employees, and maybe even a new place to live. Re-orgs don't happen in every company, and they don't always affect everyone in the organization. Depending on management objectives, one division might be restructured while the rest are left untouched. Some companies, however, make re-org an annual event. Regardless of how the current organization is functioning, they insist that change is good and that it can't hurt to stir things up a little. Some also see regular re-orgs as an efficient way to shift talent around to best suit the company's needs.

Human beings are not big fans of change, so it shouldn't surprise anyone that the majority of corporate employees don't like re-orgs. And life being the way it is, re-orgs tend to happen when you're cruising along in your job and everything is going just swell. They'll often strike for no discernable reason, and you'll be left to pick up the pieces of your career. When you're an ambitious twenty-something on the move, an unsolicited change in the landscape you've learned to navigate can be extremely frustrating. You may feel as though all of your recent achievements are for naught. Realize that re-orgs aren't personal. Corporate organizations are huge machines, and it's likely your upper management didn't consider how the restructuring would affect you individually.

Re-orgs are tough on everyone involved, and how you conduct yourself in the aftermath says a lot about you as an employee. If you think about it, you have two choices: 1) you can leave the company, or 2) you can stay and add value to the new organization. If you choose the latter option, it's critical that you are perceived as flexible, capable, and supportive of the company's direction. When the rug has been pulled out from underneath you and you are thrust into an unfamiliar work situation, it's tempting to develop a bad attitude and express your displeasure to those around you. If there is ever a time to remember your corporate persona, it's now. Re-orgs mean new faces, lots of first impressions, and extra scrutiny from senior managers watching to see how the staff is adjusting to the changes. Feel yourself slipping? Use the survival strategies I talked about in Chapter 6 (such as banishing the shoulds and taking care of your body) for a boost of positive energy.

If you know a re-org is coming, but you don't have the details, the best thing you can do is anticipate the change and prepare for it as best as you can. Allow yourself to get used to the idea of a new work situation gradually, and begin to think about new opportunities that could arise as a result of the re-org. Consider how you will deal with the worst-case scenario and create a plan of attack for getting through it. Once that's done, recognize that the situation is out of your control and forget about it for the time being. Worrying will not increase the likelihood of a favorable outcome. Instead, you'll most likely drive yourself nuts in the process.

Learning to roll with the punches is especially valuable when it comes to surviving corporate re-orgs. Think about it this way: If you were in a sinking ship a few miles from the shore, would you just sit in the hull and complain? Would you wring your hands in despair and jump over the side? No, by golly! you would put on a life jacket and swim your heart out!

Chapter 8 Take Home Points

• • Prepare for performance reviews. Objectives for your performance review should include soliciting feedback on your progress, identifying new goals and growth opportunities, and hammering out a long-term promotion plan. While you can't reasonably expect to be promoted after every review, you should at least leave with an understanding of where your current responsibilities are leading.
• • Do your homework before asking for a raise. When asking your boss for a raise, be prepared with a list of ways you have contributed to the company that have positively impacted the bottom line. Look at the situation from your company's point of view, and then ask yourself if you've performed at such a high level that your company should shell out more assets to keep you.
• • Be realistic about your career goals. Remember that advancing to a higher level means more responsibility and less freedom. Rather than demanding that your career move at the speed of light, relax your grip and concentrate on learning everything you can at your current level so that you'll be better prepared for the next.
• • Learn to cope with setbacks. What differentiates people who deal with setbacks effectively from those who don't is resiliency, or the ability to bounce back and cope with life's challenges in creative, positive, and rewarding ways.

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