Working the Crowd

You may have heard that the best way to advance in your career is to find a good mentor. A mentor is a person, usually older, who can advise you on matters relevant to your career, and who offers support and direction as you progress in your field. Obviously, having a mentor is a good idea, but he won't come to you. You have to seek him out and proactively establish the relationship. Doing this is easier said than done, because the best mentors are typically not your direct supervisors, and you may need to look outside your immediate department. Organizational psychologist Neil Stroul recommends that you observe powerful individuals in your company and approach someone who possesses a “generosity of spirit,” a natural willingness to go out of his way to help others. Ideally, this person will have already passed through the part of the career path that you are currently on, and will have achieved success by making smart decisions and learning from his experiences. He will be someone you like and admire, and someone whose values you share.

Once you target a potential mentor, how do you ask for his help? First of all, approach your mentor-to-be as you would any other networking contact: by preparing in advance. You should determine what you are looking for and devise a tentative schedule for how often you would like to meet. Make sure your expectations are reasonable, because the potential mentor is unlikely to agree if he thinks he will have to meet with you every week or act as a referee between you and your boss. When contacting the person, briefly explain why you are seeking his guidance. Compliment him sincerely, and ask if he would be amenable to an in-person meeting. Upon sitting down face to face, reiterate your thanks, and lay out your vision for the relationship. Read the person's reaction. Hopefully, he will be as enthusiastic as you are, and the two of you can set up a timeline for future meetings. But if he isn't, now is the time to find out. You don't want a mentor who is meeting with you out of a sense of obligation.

Michael Alexander of FindAMentor offers some tips for making the most of a mentor relationship:

• Ask lots of questions.
• Practice listening.
• Answer questions truthfully. (When the truth is withheld—even a little—the information provided by your mentor may not be accurate.)
• Filter information consciously before accepting it as true and right for you.
• Understand your mentor's desire to help, and take feedback you don't like in stride.
• Respect your mentor's time constraints and other commitments.

Don't forget to show your mentor the appreciation he deserves for giving you the benefit of his experience. Follow up on your commitments to him, and brainstorm ways to help him in return. For example, one of my early mentors was a senior vice president at my PR firm. One of her favorite hobbies is yoga, so when she wanted to write an article about it for a healthy living magazine, I volunteered to edit it. Also, consider helping someone else. What's the best thing you can do when you've been fortunate enough to find a good mentor? Become one yourself! By sharing your wisdom and expertise with someone less experienced, you can give back some of the goodwill your mentor showed to you.

Chapter 3 Take Home Points

• • Get to know your immediate supervisor early. Determine her priorities, find out what she wants from you, and brainstorm ways to surpass her expectations.
• • Master the corporate social scene. In your first month, aim to know a little about a lot of people rather than the other way around. Once you're established in the department, make personal connections with potential work friends.
• • Understand the different types of friendships. Know that there are differences between close friends, who will be there for you through life's tough times, and work friends, who you hang out with while you're stuck in the same building. Adjust your expectations accordingly.
• • Expand your business networks. Business networking is a valuable tool to gain information, increase your visibility in your field, and establish relationships that will help you move forward in your career. Seek out new contacts and potential mentors whom you like and admire, as well as those whose interests you share.

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